People often say you’ll just know when someone loves you. There’s some truth to that, though it may not show up in the extravagant gestures you see in the media. Sometimes, actions can speak louder than words and you may be able to tell the truth just by finding any nonverbal signs that they may be giving you.
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Here I provide 12 signs for you to recognize real love:
1. Flowers for no reason other than “just because.”
2. Gauge if the person is happy to be around you.
This should be true even during a bad day. If your loved one has had a very bad day but lights up when they see you, then that's a sign of love. If they are in love with you, then the sight of you or the sound of your voice is guaranteed to make them feel better — if only a little bit.
The next time they're grumpy or have a bad day, see how they react in your presence.
3. Expect to be missed when apart.
If you and your loved one are apart, but they still text you, call you, or email you to let you know how much they miss you, then it means they can't imagine their life without you. If you go on a three-week vacation and don't hear a word from them, then it may not be love.
4. They're willing to do everything for you
They would go out of their way to bring you food and medicine and walk your dog when you’re sick, even though your place is in the exact opposite direction than would otherwise be convenient to them — and they wouldn’t consider it going out of the way.
5. You feel safe with them
They won’t threaten you or use anger to punish you or make you afraid. Feeling safe also means feeling free to make your own decisions and express yourself without fearing their response. When you share opinions and goals, you receive encouragement, not putdowns or criticism.
6. They will take an active interest in the details of your life.
They’ll listen actively by asking question and waiting their turn to share instead of immediately diverting the conversation toward their own experiences. You get the sense that they really care, instead of feeling brushed off with a distracted “Uh huh” or “Wow, that sucks.”
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7. They acknowledge your differences instead of trying to change you.
No matter how much you and your partner share, you’re different people, so you won’t feel the same way about everything. They might engage in some respectful debate, but they’ll show interest in your perspective instead of insisting you take their side. A loving partner may offer guidance and advice when asked, but they won’t try to control your choices or behavior.
8. They truly value your opinion.
If the person truly loves you, then they'll care about what you think — whether it's about their new pair of shoes or the political situation in your country. If they really love you, they'll ask for your advice and opinions, whether it's on big or small matters. They may feel self-conscious about asking for your opinion, but they'll do it because they love you.
They don't have to ask for your opinion on everything — only the things that really matter.
9. You can see love in the small moments of everyday life
Maybe your partner doesn’t bring you lunch at work or surprise you with fancy gifts. But they hand you a cup of coffee every morning once you make it to the kitchen. They never forget your dates, and they smile whenever you walk into the room. They show up for the bad as well as the good, making it clear you can count on their continued support.
10. See how they look at you
If your partner looks at you while you’re talking, or if you catch him or her darting a glance your way, this suggests that he or she takes pleasure in being with you. The two of you don’t need to spend hours gazing into each other’s eyes; even a quick glance can be enough to send positive, love-confirming vibes.
11. They want to take care of you
If they rush to take care of you, whether you are ill or have heard some bad news, this is a great sign that they love you. If they ask you questions to see how you feel and if you need anything, this can be a way of saying that they love you, they want you to be OK and will make sure of it.
12. See if they can act naturally around you.
Part of being in love means being completely open to the other person. If you find yourself seeing a whole different side that the person doesn't show the public, then that may be love. For instance, if your partner is pretty serious or polite in public, but shows a more goofy and silly side when you're alone, then they are really opening up to you and loves you.
Elizabeth Collins is a book lover and life coach. She aspires to motivate, to inspire, and to awaken your best self.
Romantic love can feel pretty fantastic. There’s a reason why love features as a central topic in so many stories throughout the centuries of human history. Still, love isn’t always wonderful. In real life, it’s often unpredictable, frustrating, even painful. Though love may mean something different to every person, there are many ways to tell if a person truly loves you, just has a crush on you or just being momentarily infatuated with you.
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Hope everyone who sees this article can find their loved one.